Here are your 3 golden nuggets for the week:
- “Hate is a body guard for grief.” – Sarah Fields
I recently received an e-mail from a client that expressed impatience, anger, frustration, and an overall unhappy vibe. Rather than reacting to this message in the same state of mind it was sent from, I paused. I reminded myself that all acts of fear, frustration, anger and hate are pleas for love. When people lose the hate, they are forced to deal with the pain beneath. There is no sense in fighting fire with fire. Those who express anger and hate through words and actions are grieving. If we can learn to empathize with these individuals, we will see that the grief they are expressing is a call for love. So, send them love! Kill them with kindness. The world will be a much better place for it!
- “The most underrated characteristic of any leader or coach or manager in the business arena is the willingness to ask for help.” – Howard Schultz
When we don’t ask for help when we need it, we assume a burden that might easily be shared. We also deprive those who’d love to assist us of the opportunity of doing so. Everyone is worse off. Growing up, I was as stubborn as an ox. I rarely asked for help. I was under the illusion that I could conquer the world by myself. Me, myself, and I. This couldn’t be further from the truth. The greatest inventions, ideas and innovations in the world came from collaborative thinking. The more we deny help from others, the further down the rabbit hole we plunge. We can all do much more together than we ever can alone. Too often though we ‘tough it out’ rather than reaching out to ask for help when we need it most. Fear gets the better of us. When we support other people to be more successful, we discover opportunities for collaboration that ultimately enable us to be more successful ourselves. So remember, by having the courage to ask for help, you’re not putting others out, you are pulling them up!
- “He who wishes to secure the good of others has already secured his own.” – Confucius
Lao Tzu once said, “Mastering others is strength. Mastering yourself is true power.” We must first be fit for service before we can be of service to others. Some might view self-care as selfish, however I believe this view is deeply flawed. If we want to help others, we must first help ourselves. If we intend to love another human being, we must first love ourselves. So go get that massage you’ve been craving. Go spend the day at the spa. Treat yourself to that over-priced workout class or that delicious meal. There is a reason why the flight attendants tell you to put your oxygen mask on first before helping the person next to you. If you intend to help others, you must first help yourself!